Thursday, December 18, 2014

YES or NO to Pre-Marital Sex

This question is a tricky one and it needs knowledge, thinking and discussion before reaching to a conclusion. The answer to this question varies from culture to culture, society to society, community to community and country to country. But it is most difficult to find the answer to above question in India where six major religions and thousands of communities are living together with various cultural backgrounds. Let’s look back in the past to find the answer.

As told by my elders and according to my knowledge, it is known to everyone that how marriages were used to be fixed till 1970s-80s. The marriages were fixed by the fathers and not the brides or grooms. Even mothers were not included into any decision making as our culture was and is male centric. Our elders used to say that they used to do so because elders had more experience of good and bad things. Hence there was no chance of premarital sex in the generation of our elders and their elders. But we always convey only the good stories to our children and always skip the bitter part. It is proved that prostitution is one of the oldest professions in the world. One can definitely say that females at that time were not used to be allowed to go outside their homes or to meet anyone. So their chances of getting into the pre-marital sex were none. But I cannot give the guarantee about men. They always had the freedom to do whatever they want. Hence I mentioned about prostitution and we can’t deny the possibility that our men in the past used to get involved into the pre-marital sex.

Today we have gone too far and completed various levels of freedom. Today the girls in metro cities can go to late night parties and enjoy their life. But the women in villages still getting the same treatment like our ancestors gave. So ruling out the women in villages or towns, but at least the girls in the metro cities have freedom to involve into pre-marital sex. But the ‘in-laws’ or the husband of the same girl after her marriage are still behaving like our ancestors. If the husband finds out about the pre-marital sex of his wife then he still doesn’t have the courage to accept the fact that if he has the freedom to do the act then why his wife can’t.

Pre-marital sex should and must be the personal decision of everyone and they should get the freedom to take the decision. I will definitely say yes to the pre-marital sex because a male and a female come close mentally and physically only after the sex and they start acting like a single person. Our elders used to say love happens slowly after marriage but why can’t it happen before so that one can know the other better and it may never lead to divorces. I would like to mention one incident here. I have visited the ‘Hindu-jyotish’ websites quite a few times for the ‘guna-milan’ process for my sister. It is done to match the compatibility of two people according to ‘Hindu-jyotish’ (Hindu Horoscope). There I found out that they also have one point for sexual compatibility. If we are ready to trust ‘Hindu-jyotish’ which has slim chances of correctness then why can’t we give our women freedom to decide about the pre-marital sex and they can find out their soul-mates eventually.

Pre-marital sex is a big step for our culture to take and sink in and many will also say that it will disturb the balance of our nature. But again there is a theory of evolution and we have to keep ourselves up to date. We are mature enough to choose the right person before indulging into the pre-marital sex and we should earn that maturity to gain the freedom. Hence my answer to the question of pre-marital sex would always be YES.

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1 comment:

  1. Indeed this is a very tricky question and every one denies it from outside but has love for it from inside.

    Nice thoughts Prathamesh, It is one's own decision.